“I’ve Lost it” – ©J.E.Goldie Sept. 7 2020

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com


“Joan, have you got the bus tickets?”

“No. I thought you had them. You bought them”

“Oh damn. I must have left them on the counter.”

“Well hurry up and get them then.”

“On my way! Get a double seat for us.”

“Yes Mam! On a packed bus, sure.”

“Pardon me young man. Are you alone?”

“Excuse me? Are yah, talking to me?”

“Well I’m looking at you.”

“So what can I do for yah.”

“My name is Joan.”

“Sure! What can I do for yah, Joan and by the way, yer older than my muddah.”

“Oh, I see this isn’t going to be easy. You see I need…”

“LADY, you better leave me alone. I ain’t no pickup.”

“Oh no, I think you’ve got the wrong impression I….”

“Yer kiddin right? I get it! How much yah offerin?”

“For what!”

“OH! I think we understand each other!”

“We do? Good. How much do you want for….”

“OH, George honey! I’m here! Did you get us seats together?”

“Sure did Sweetie! But this here floozie wants to sit with me and…”

“JOAN! Where are you going!”

“Getting off the bus! It’s been a long day.”

“I wish you’d make up your mind.”

“I’ll explain later. Nancy. Let’s get out of here!”

Part 2

“Joan! Wait up!”

“Let’s go! Hurry!”

“Joan. Stop before you have a heart attack!”

“It could be worse than that!”

“Joan!”

“Can you still see the bus?”

“No. I think it’s pulled away.”

“Oh! Thank Goodness!”

“Tell me what happened!”

“Okay I will . We’ll stop and rest behind this building, so the cops can’t find us.”

“Joan! Please, what in the world have you done?”

“Finally, somewhere to sit. That’s better I can breathe now.”

“JOAN!”

“Hmm?”

“Please tell me.”

“I wonder how I’ll look in stripes. I’ve always thought that’s a horrid fashion statement, even for criminals.”

“YOU killed someone?”

“OH for Gods sake NO! How could you think such a thing!”

“I’m sorry! I’m just trying to understand!”

“I’m a floozie! There! I said it!”

“A what?”

“A loose woman! A Jaguar! A…..Oh I can’t say it.”

“A whore?”

“Thank you for the filler.”

“Joan dear. Why on earth would you think that.”

“I tried to get us a seat.”

“I don’t understand. That’s crazy. What did you actually do or say.”

“I asked him how much.”

“Oh! You naughty woman!”

“It’s not funny. I shall simply resign myself to walk the streets at night under the pale moonlight. To finally admit to myself I’m one of life’s tragedies, lost on the midnight pavement under the lamp light of the darkest night….”

“Joan! Geezz! More likely an actress.”


Part 3

“Awe Joan. We’re just having a little bad luck. There’s two down, and only one more to go.”

“I’m so glad you can add. Your platitudes don’t help much.”

“Joan, everything’s going to be fine.”

“Oh! You think?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong Joan.”

“I misjudged.”

“No. He misunderstood.”

“I guess.”

“Okay! Now let’s cheer up shall we!”

“Could do.”

“Now! Here’s a plan.”

“This better be good.”

“Joan?”

“Hmm?”

“Get your backpack, put it on those staunch shoulders of yours and we’ll go back to the B&B and register for another night.”

“If they’ll have us, after todays mess.”

“They said we were welcome back anytime remember?”

“I do. What time is it?”

“Let’s see. Four o’clock.”

“I’m exhausted.”

“Then, once we’re in you can have a lay down before supper.”

“Sounds like the best plan we’ve had all day.”

“Good! Then it’s settled.”

“Which way? Left or right?”

“Um, there’s the Sea down there. The bus was going east, I’m pretty sure of that.”

“Nancy? Where’s my pack.”

“Didn’t you……”

“OH DAMN! It’s on the bus!”

“Well, I guess that’s three!”

“When will this day end?”


Part 4 of 4

“We should never have taken this Day Trip!”

“Awe, Joan.”

“No! It’s the Sea’s fault! All those pretty brochures. Now we’re stuck.”

“We aren’t stuck. Stop worrying my dear.”

“Dear? Don’t patronize me. I’ve lost everything!”

“Joan?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re not going to cry or anything, are you?”

“God! You’re crazier than I thought you were.”

“I just want to be sure. I haven’t any tissues.”

“I had a whole pack in my bag. Now I need them and……..”

“I thought you weren’t going to cry.”

“I’m not! It’s just the sniffles.”

“Here, use this.”

“I can’t use that!”

“Why not?”

“It’s yours. God knows where it’s been.”

“Joan.”

“Yes.”

“I don’t have any germs and it’s freshly washed.”

“Thank you.”

“Now listen to me, carefully.”

“Okay.”

“You listening?”

“Yes…..”

“When you got on the Bus, before you asked me if I had the tickets, you were rushing in to get us seats, right?”

“Something like that. Um, yes I was.”

“The bus was probably crowded.”

“I could hardly move! I was like a salmon trying to swim up stream.”

“But you managed to get around them.”

“I certainly did!”

“If you’d had your pack would it have been as easy?”

“NO! It wouldn’t. OH! I must have left it in the locker! OH Nancy! What would I ever do without you!”

“I don’t know. I really don’t!”

“What time is it?”

“Time you got a watch!”

“Very funny! I think you should be a comedian. Have you ever thought of…….”





“More Scenic” ©J.E.Goldie FOWC with Fandango – riveting – Sept. 5 2020

https://fivedotoh.com/2020/09/05/fowc-with-fandango-riveting/

Today’s word is “riveting.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak. ~FANDANGO~


“Will you kindly tell me why we had to get off the bus in the middle of nowhere?”

“I was studying a map while you were snoozing, and I discovered a more scenic route to our destination.”

“Nancy there’s nothing here. Just trees and no doubt wildlife of some kind. This is all very riveting, but I really don’t think it was a good idea.”

“Don’t worry Joan. There’s probably the odd Adder, grass snake, lizard, Badger, Vole, Fox, Weasel, mouse, nothing to worry about. Joan speak to me.”

“I’m too busy controlling my heart palpitations. We could be on the menu right now and not even know it.”

“Oh Joan! Even if something were watching us, they’d be the ones afraid.”

“I still don’t have to like it.”

“Okay let’s walk up this path and I’ll show you the short cut I found on the map.”

“I knew there’d be more to contend with.”

“It should be around here somewhere. Oh, I can hear water! This is going to be so exciting!”

“All I hear is…………OH MY GOD!”

“Isn’t it wonderful!”

“You don’t expect me to go over that.”

“Joan all we have to do is walk over and we save at least two hours travel. Why are you laughing?”

“I’m not laughing I’m hysterical! No WAY in Hell am I doing that! I’ll thumb a ride back if I have to!”

“Oh, you’re such a spoiled sport sometimes.”

“An alive one.”

“Alright. The next bus is in a half an hour.”

“Damn it Nancy! Okay I’ll do it if it’s that important to you!”

“Thanks Joan.”

“Thank me if and when we get across.”

“I’m thanking you now because you’re such a great friend.”

“Oh stop fussing, before I change my mind.”

“No, you won’t.”

©J.E.Goldie Sept. 5 2020




“Séance” ©J.E.Goldie Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #81 Sept. 3 2020

The image is from the Google Hub Photo Frame.
https://fivedotoh.com/2020/08/31/fandangos-flash-fiction-challenge-81/

“Nancy! What is this place? It’s amazing!”

“The Mystical Mansion. I picked up a brochure at the Bus Stop. I just couldn’t resist the idea of staying here. So, I booked a room for the night. Then after the séance we….”

“The what!!!”

“The séance. A séance is when a group of people…”

“I know what a séance is! I participated in one before and I refuse to do another!”

“Oh Wow! What was it like? Did spirits appear? Did you hear anything like voices from the past or see ghostly spirits or …”

“None of the above.”

“Well maybe this time you will.”

“Nancy? Did it ever occur to you, that contacts from the past could be hurtful?”

“No.”

“When you’ve lived a past like I have, you might reconsider looking back.”

“But the possibilities are endless!”

“Oh alright. Keep in mind the fact, that I warned you.”

“That sounds exciting!”

“You might be excited now but hold on to your hat and be ready for the possibility of a very strange night!”

“I love it!”

“And remember, it’s your choice. Lead the way!”





“A River Runs…” ©J.E.Goldie Sept. 2 2020



“Just walk across that patch, to the steps. It’s simple.”

“Nancy, I’d rather you went first.”

“Well I would, but I thought I’d stay here and watch out for you.”

“Oh really? Watch out for what?”

“I dunno. In case something happens, I can help you.”

“Nancy, what could happen?”

“Oh nothing. It’s just that ..well sometimes …there’s…”

“NANCY!”

“It’s softer than it looks sometimes.”

“Softer?”

“You know, muddier than it looks.”

“Muddier?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. You go ahead and if everything’s fine I’ll follow you.”

“No way!”

“Nancy I’m surprised at you. You’re the intrepid trekker.”

“Or, maybe we could walk over to the steps together.”

“OKAY then. I’ll go first!”

“Good luck!”

“Good luck?”

“Oh I forgot to tell you something. It rained last night, and this used to be a riverbed. It’s a low and catches all the water around it and if…”

“NANCY!”






“But Not Before Breakfast” April 27, 2019

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Part 1 of 3

“Joan? You up yet?

“I am now. You whined?”

“Joan, I was thinking.”

“Oh no!”

“Very funny Joan. You’re always grumpy before breakfast!”

“I am not!”

“Oh?  Oh, yes you are!”

“Let your thoughts out. I wouldn’t want you to burst before breakfast.”

“Oh, haha.”

“Well?”

“It’s Sunday.”

“And?”

“I’d like to go to Church.”

“You what?”

“There’s this old Church down the road and I’d like to go inside. You should see the door!”

“Oh, ok. That’s all?”

“No! That’s not all, I haven’t been to Church in awhile.”

“Nancy. If you want to go, I’ll go with. Wouldn’t hurt either of us. I could use a good pray.”

“Joan?”

“Why did I know there’d be complications.”

“I heard something about that Church, that disturbed me.”

“I’d say keep it to yourself but under the circumstances, spill.”

“It’s just a rumour, Joan.”

“Since when did “Just a rumour” get in your way.”

“Well I heard ….”

“Nancy. Stop right there.”

“But I thought you wanted to know.”

“I do. I honestly, positively do! But not before breakfast.”

©J.E.Goldie 4/27/2019

“But Not Before Breakfast” Part 2 of 3, “A Bellyful First”, April 27, 2019

“Two fried eggs, smoked streaky bacon, Cumberland sausage, roasted plum tomatoes, mushrooms and sourdough toast. Double the toast and jam. And! You can bring me some Oat Porridge with, um, lets see. Bananas sliced, mind you, and toasted hazelnuts. Oh! And blueberries, got to have blueberries.”

“Are you finished Nancy or would you like a “Little” something else?”

“Yes please. A side of baked beans would do nicely.”

“And I’ll “Just have” Two poached eggs, halloumi, roasted plum tomato, charred red peppers, smashed avocado, hollandaise, pea shoots, mixed seeds and sourdough toast. That’ll do me nicely.”

“Tea?”

“I’ll stick with a full-bodied, caffeinated black!”.

“Are you quite sure Nan?”

“Damn sure! Yes.”

“I’ll have the Lady Grey, thank you very much.”

“Nicely done Joan.”

“I’ll accept the praise Nan.”

“You’re welcome. What time is Church?”

“Hmm?”

“I said what time do we have to be at Church?”

“Well, I don’t know! Thought you would. It was your idea,”

“We really shouldn’t be late Joan.”

“I should think not! How would it look. Two strangers walking into a Parish Church Sunday morning, late!”

“I should think ridiculously foolish.”

“Nan?”

“Yes Joan.”

“I thought you were interested in the door.”

“Of course, I am. It’s ancient.”

“So, Nan. You really want to physically open the door.”

“Well I should think so!”

“Why?”

“Joan.”

 “Hmm?”

“A door like that surely has secrets.”

“And you want to know the secret.”

“Why yes!”

“Knowing secrets can get you into trouble.”

“Well then call me trouble. I need to know.”

“Okay.  Let’s eat. At least we’ll have a bellyful first.”

©J.E.Goldie 4/29/2019

“But Not Before Breakfast” Part 3 of 3 “So Be It” May 1 2019

“Nancy. I’m ever so quickly beginning to realize you have a definite penchant for getting us into messes.”

“EH?”

“When I picked you out of hundreds of applicants…”

“Hang on! Hundreds?”

“Yes. Hundreds. Your description, as I recall, said you were the quiet, unassuming type and love to travel.”

“I do love to travel.”

“Yes. You do. Love to travel.”

“Now see here Joan, have I really caused you so much agony?”

“No. Not agony, actually.”

“Then what’s this all about Joan. Do tell. We have a perfectly good lunch ahead of us. Let’s not spoil it.”

“Not that I could even attempt to spoil your lunch Nan.”

“Are you insinuating I’m fat!”

“Oh no. No, No No. Perhaps a tad plump but who cares.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing my dear, nothing, except getting stuck in a Church Pew in the middle of services and yelping like a dog in heat proves to be a little embarrassing.”

“They made them small in those days Joan, and I didn’t yelp.

“You definitely yelped. I heard you along with the entire Congregation. The Minister almost forgot his sermon! He was so concerned.”

“Joan.”

“Yup”

“You’re being unfair.”

“Am I?”

“Yes.”

“Then, I guess I’m sorry.”

“You guess?”

“Well, no.”

“Go on.”

“Well, I’m sorry Nancy. There, you have it.”

“So, we’ll go back after lunch.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yes, so I can continue my investigation”

“I didn’t know this was Dr. No, and tiny telephone booths really aren’t your style Nan.”

“Ha Ha Ha.

“Well, if we must, we must. You’re the intrepid adventurer and I your devoted follower.”

“Awe Joan. That’s so nice of you to say.”

“I may regret it.”

“You get funnier everyday Joan.”

“I’m thrilled at your side armed compliment. Promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“We’ll have a quiet lunch and you’ll behave.”

“Joan?”

“You called.”

“See? You’re so funny when you’re disgruntled.”

“Are you ready? Nan.”

“Onwards to dejeuner!”

“So be it.”

©J.E.Goldie 5/1/2019



“Not Another Word” ©J.E.Goldie – 4/19/2019


“Hey Joan! Come here.”

“What are you doing Nancy?”

“C’mon, kneel down. Get down! Get closer.”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake Nan my knees aren’t like they used to be. I’ll never get up!”

“Joan?”

“Yes?”

“Joan.”

“Okay! Okay, what’s so important.”

“Look here! These rocks are striped.”

“Okay. I’ll admit they’re striped. I could see that standing up.”

“Joan? Look around. Do you see any other striped rocks around here?”

“No, actually.”

“Right. Then why do you think they’re striped?”

“I really don’t know Nancy. But the one thing I do know is, you’re probably going to tell me.”

“Well when I was in Glasgow last Summer…..”

************

“Hey! Hey Ladies! Get outta there, now!”

“You Sir are interrupting me!”

“Now! ladies! Now! Please! They’re flooding this area!”

“Nancy.”

“Yes?”

“By the way. Your backpack is sinking in the mud. I saw a B&B a mile back. Hopefully they’ll have a room for us. And Nancy?”

“Yes?”

“Not a word. Not another word.”


PART 2 of 2

“You know Joan, it was pretty nice of these people to let us stay on such short notice.”

“Yes! Especially since we were covered in mud. If you hadn’t had our faces under a rock, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“How was I to know they were going to flood the area. Joan, if that guy hadn’t rushed over to warn us, we might have really taken a tumble!”

“Nan?”

“Yes?”

“Nan. Relax.”

“You’re making it sound like I was out to kill us. Joan, I value my life way too much for that. Yours too, of course.”

“Nancy? Why were you so darned curious about those rocks? I mean, besides the fact that they had a stripe or two.”

“Stripe or two! If we hadn’t been in such a damn hurry to get out of there, I’d have told you.”

“Told me what? You have my undivided attention. This better be good.”

“Okay. You see there’s this pink house.”

“Pink house. Got it.”

“Joan?”

“Yes?”

“Joan.”

“Hmmm?”

“I said Pink house Joan. You didn’t really have to repeat it did you?”

“Nancy dear, I was just making sure I was following you correctly.”

“Right. So, as I was saying there’s this strange pink house.”

“Nancy?”

“Yes, Joan?”

“Is this going to be a long story? I mean, I’m a little tuckered out. I’d like to sleep off today’s adventure.”

“Alright. Night Joan. I’ll tell you all about it, tomorrow.”

“Hmmm. Can’t wait.”

“Pardon Joan?”

“Sweet dreams Nancy.”